Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Missing Swimmer!

Next Swims:  Wed, Thu, Fri, Sep 2nd, 3rd and 4th, 6AM each day

Last Swims: Mon & Tue Aug 31st and Sept 1st
Water Temp:  Mon 51, Tue 53
Waves: Calm
Water Clarity: Good
Mon Crew: Diablo, Mr. Anonymous, Mark, Showgirl, Super Hera, Capt'n, Patriarch
Tue Crew: Forger, Showgirl, Itch, Diablo, Patriarch
Wetsuit/Skin: 9/3

Have you seen this man?  Kahuna, aka Sandie, aka Pendlepuss, also answers to "Shithead" and "Hey Asshole".  Last seen swimming east after muttering "there just has to be some warm water out there somewhere".  Age:  Younger than he looks.  Hair:  Disheveled.  Eyes: Bloodshot.  If encountered approach with caution. Probably incoherent. Possibly dangerous.  Certainly high.  If found, return to Squeezakahuna (but don't call her that).  Reward: One free swim with Patriarch (retail value $100)


Anonymous said...

Is this person missing or a suspect?

Kahuna said...

Kahuna has been out of town, transporting and hobnobbing with other kahunas, and swimming in such places as Lake Wingra, Castle Rock Lake, and similar. He's likes the temperatures, but misses the clarity of Lake Michigan. He'll be back in town by the weekend, and looks forward to getting back to Klode Beach, even if the Patriarch is there.

Lauren Harper said...

This must be the Patriarch's way of saying "I love you Kahuna"