Sunday, September 20, 2015

Three's Company! and Bad Sex Tip #11

Next Swims: Mon-Fri Sept 21-25, 6AM

Last Swims: Sunday September 20th, noon
Water Temp: 57
Waves: minor but annoying chop out of the south
Water Clarity: cloudy
Crew: Panini, Crash, Nanook, NorthShoreNancy, NorthShoreMark, Showgirl, Forger, Kahuna, Captain, Diablo, Itch, Gumdrop, Adam

Wetsuit/Skin: 8.5/4.5

Pitsch count: 11 

Diablo swam at 10am. Late-arriving Adam swam at 1-ish.  No pitsch for them. 

There's a rumor among the crew that Gumdrop, Panini, and Crash are going to combine forces and get a place together, thus becoming a 2015 version of the beloved (?) sitcom "Three's Company." (circa 1977-1984 for those of you who are age- or culturally-challenged by this reference).  However.... didn't Jack have to adopt a gay lifestyle? And which of our lovely brunettes would get the blond hair, breast implants, and later invent an even better version of the thigh-master?  There are SO many un-answered questions here.  I can't wait to see the drama (comedy? tragedy?) unfold, undoubtedly with large, unbridled amounts of absquatulation.

And now, for Bad Sex Tip #11.  Please see Captain's legally binding disclaimer from yesterday, and tell the children to go to another room.  Furthermore, Bad Sex Tip #11 is in NO WAY related to the above paragraph.  However, one or more BSTs is highly likely to emerge from that mash-up, so stay tuned for further updates.  Anyway!  Our story today was brought to us by Forger.  He recounted a long-ago, pre-marriage, story where he and a friend were driving home after bartime, having sadly struck out with the ladies.  As they waited in a long line of cars for a train to pass, they saw an attractive young woman get out of the car in front of them, and proceed  the front of her car.  Being a helpful young man, Forger assumed she was having car trouble. When he failed to see the hood of her car go up, he jumped out to assist. He also hoped that if he managed to assist this young woman, she might show her gratitude with more than words.  When his helpful self arrived at the front of her car, he found her emptying her bladder.  She made it VERY clear that she did not need his help, and there would be no expressions of gratitude for him that night.  I'm not exactly sure how you can use this tip to enhance your own sex life, but give it some thought while munching on a handful of potato chips.

1 comment:

Kahuna said...

BSM #10?

What you'll need:
A six pack of Schlitz
Two not too chunky participants
A bottle of Suit Juice
One, size 2XL, Xterra Wetsuit
How to do it:
Liquor up, strip down, juice up, slide in, zip up, have at it.