Saturday, June 25, 2016

Itch has the Pitsch

Next Swims:  Sunday June 26th 1PM, Monday-Friday 6AM

Last Swim: Saturday June 25th 1PM
Water Temp: 69
Waves: 1-2 feet, very choppy and irregular
Water Clarity:  Very Good
Crew: Kahuna, Diablo, Nanook, Neo, Panini, Not Dave's Wife, Liz, Itch, Handyman Hank, Showgirl,  Patriarch, and Crash on Deck
Skin/Suit: 9/2
Shots: 18?

I made it back from M-22 just in time.  One more day and I would have surrendered and stayed there.  Pampered by endless sand beach, warm water, beachside hot tub, bar and grill.  I had no idea how nice it is over there on the other side.  I was raised a committed Yooper firm in the belief that there is only one truly Great Lake: Superior.  Those living "Below the Bridge" were contemptible trolls and there was no reason ever to venture there.  How wrong I was!

Anyway it's good to be back amongst the crazy wretched insane Klode Kru.  My return was nearly marred by disaster though.  I had forgotten that before I left I had purchased and used Otto's last bottle of Pitsch.  Capt'n was out too.  Oh No!  Itch to the rescue!  Apparently he has cornered the local market on Pitsch.  It was nice of him to share, but of course the down side is we have to be nice to him (maybe that's why he did it?).  I know it's difficult but if Paul Ryan can support Trump I guess we can be nice to Itch.

Speaking of cornering the market, Kahuna has cornered the market on crazy.  Against the express order of his doctor and (even crazier) his wife, he swam with us today.  We had to wheelchair him down the path and back up and he had to limp on crutched across the sand.  The most the pathetic part is that he thinks his predicament makes him sexually attractive to women.

But it gets even crazier. Panini (who else?) tops Kahuna by talking about the fetish of some men who like to be treated like pet dogs.  She even had a name for it (I forget).  I had never heard of or even imagined such a thing so it makes we wonder how she knows this (on the other hand I'm not sure I want the answer to this question).

I missed you guys.  It's good to be back.



Kahuna said...

Panini: "It's a real thing, it's called 'Puppy Play'."

Sure Panini. OK, so I opened up an incognito page, and put in "weird guys puppy play," and sure enough, there it is:

Some folks just have too much time on their hands.

Great to have you back Patriarch, and so good to be back in the lake, even if it was not particularly calm.

queenofcurryland said...

Patriarch, never question me when I state factual information because 99.99% of the time I am correct. On the other hand, good luck discerning which set of the enormous number of those coming out of me is actually factual!!