Monday, August 10, 2015

NO PITSCH FOR YOU!

Next Swims:  Monday August 10th 6PM
Tuesday August 11th 6AM (And 6AM Wed, Thu, Fri too)
Maybe some more 6PM swims Tue Wed and Thu, check back

Last Swim: Monday August 10th 6AM
Water Temp: 64 (yes, really)
Waves: Calm
Water Clarity: Excellent
Crew: Diablo, Amy, Crash, Super Hera, Kahuna, Linda, Capt'n, Forger, Scooby, Brian, Patriarch
Wetsuit/Skin: 4/7

That's it!  I quit!  I'm through being Mr. Nice Guy!  TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT!

So you think it's easy being Patriarch?  Every day, sometimes twice, it's same ridiculous damn thing.  We walk down to the beach and the first thing I do is take a water temperature reading.  Then, no matter what number I report, high, low or in-between, I'm invariably submerged in a tsunami of disbelief.  "No way".   "It can't be".  "Are you sure?".  "Liar!".  "It MUST be warmer than that!"  "It MUST be colder than that!".  "You're Crazy".  "Take another reading, here, there, out there!"  "You must have read it wrong."

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE??  Are you there to swim or whine?  The lake is the lake, often cold, murky and rough.  Get over it.  You want nice?  Go play with your rubber ducky in the kiddie pool.   Stop using me as a punching back.  Why is it necessary to project your fears and anxieties on me?  Your psychotic delusions?  (Your secret desires?).  Shut up, man up and walk the plank.

And if that's not bad enough I go home and listen to wifey whine about her colonoscopy tomorrow and how awful the prep is, and how I'm an awful husband because I'm not sympathetic enough, etc, etc, etc

So I'm done. Get someone else to read the temp, I'm going swimming.  Oh, and by the way, do you expect Pitsch after your insufferable sniveling?  FORGET IT!!!!!!!!      

3 comments:

rsm said...

Is somebody having a case of the Mondays? I thought the water was supposed to have calm and soothing effects on a person? New rule, Patriarch takes the temp, announces it, and we all STFU and swim... or not. Signed with deep regrets for ever taking my frustration with the cold temps out on the Big P, NS Nancy

Steve said...

With great power, comes great responsibility....

Lauren Harper said...

LMAO!